Listen up ladies, what you should know about sex

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Listen up ladies, what you should know about sex

Most of us think we already educated on everything there is to know about sex and maybe some of us really have memorized the manual on it.  But it never hurts to brush up on certain aspects that particularly for women can make the difference between a so-so sex life and a “rock your world” kind of vibe felt in the bedroom.

Here are 12 things you probably learned a long time ago but may have been filed away in your mind long forgotten and therefore, practiced infrequently.  It’s time to refresh and reboot your memory to make sex the enjoyable activity it is meant to be:

1.     Your man is not focused on your flaws

Many women are overly concerned on how they look to a man – they stress over every little flaw not realizing that during sexual arousal, men are experiencing a rush of adrenaline and hormones to really even notice any imperfections.  No one woman is perfect and neither is he.  He will be into the act itself and once you set aside your body anxiety, you can get into enjoying sex as much as he is.

2.     Stop worrying about how frequent sex is

There is not necessarily a normal amount of sex to be having.  Every couple is going to be different.  The frequency often depends on what stage of life you are in – are you newlyweds, a young couple with small children, an older couple with teenagers in the house and a busy schedule or are you empty nesters who have the house to yourselves?  The important thing to remember is the frequency of sex enough for both of you?  If you’re both on the same page as far as frequency, life is good.  If not, work together on figuring out what you can mutually agree on.

3.     Ask for what you want

Women are not the best at asking for what they want in bed.  It may be embarrassing for them or maybe they were raised to believe a man will automatically know what to do.  If you’re going to liven up action in the bedroom, start asking for what feels good to you.  Men love it. 

4.     Frequent sex means the more you want it

Anything that is fun and relaxing to do is usually worth repeating, right?  Sex is no different.  It’s highly likely if you get on a roll of having frequent sex, the more both of you will want it.  Besides, going too long without it can spell trouble as you may forget how much you like it.

5.     Learn to relax more and an orgasm will come

It is a known fact that women take a little longer to experience the euphoria of an orgasm.  Women on average, take ten to twenty minutes to reach orgasm while men, on average, take seven to fourteen minutes including foreplay, and two to three minutes after intercourse has begun.  But many women can take quite a bit longer than average to reach the pinnacle of sex.  Often it’s due to her mind not focusing on the pleasurable moment – she is thinking of everything else but that.  Relax your mind and focus on the moment.  The physical sensations and whatever fantasies your mind can create will help you achieve an orgasm.

6.     Planned sex is good

Some of the best foreplay is the anticipation of an event to come with the event being planned sex.  Planning and imagining how it will go can be a huge turn on in and of itself.  Start planning today for your next sexual interlude.

7.     It’s ok if you just want to go to sleep

Sometimes when you crawl into bed, other things take priority over sex.  The main thing to remember that a night off, is ok and doesn’t indicate your relationship with your spouse is on the brink.  It just means that you may have small children or a demanding job and you want a good night’s sleep.  Nothing is wrong with that.

8.      Kegels are everything

If you haven’t heard of Kegel exercises before, read on.  These exercises strengthen the all-important pelvic floor muscles, giving you more control during sex and they can intensify orgasms.  They can be done anywhere (no one will know any better) and they are simply where you squeeze as if you’re holding back urine and then release and repeat many times.

9.     There should not be pain during intercourse

There may be a brief bout of discomfort if you are tensed up or haven’t had enough foreplay to become lubricated sufficiently.  But if sex hurts, that’s not normal.  There could be several things causing this one of which is a urinary tract infection, common in women.  Whatever it is, go see your doctor to get it checked out as soon as possible.

10.  You’re man uses sex to show how much he loves you

We have to remember that men and women are different, not just biologically but also psychologically.  Women need to feel loved in order to want to have sex but a guy usually needs sex to form an emotional bond.  When men have sex is when they feel loved the most.  So don’t take it personally if that is his main way of expressing love to you.  Making love is his way of showing it.

11.  Always urinate after having intercourse

You’ve had a wonderful romp in bed and nothing sounds better than snuggling up to your man and falling asleep in his arms.  But, before you do, go to the bathroom.  Always urinating after sex is one of the best ways to prevent a urinary tract infection.  There can be microbes and bacteria in the genital area which can penetrate and collect in the urethra.  This is one of the biggest causes of infection in the urinary tract in women.

12.  You have something to look forward to – sex gets better with age

It sounds hard to believe but sex can and does get better with age.  Maybe it’s because of practice or time spent with a partner but whatever it is, for many women sex improves like a finely aged wine. With age women have a better understanding of their body and how it works when it comes to sex.  They may not have the unlined, toned body of their youth but they feel more confident, have better communication with their partner and are more comfortable in their skin.  Growing old doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom. Sex may not happen as frequently but the quality only gets better.